job?

Hi Rose,
i applied with Judicary as Education Specialist.
did you see me getting this job?
Love,TAW 5/17/67

Divorcing and Scared - Sons Surgery- UPDATE

Hello Rose! Well the surgery went really great. The hardest part was holding my son in my arms in the OR while they put him to sleep with the gas. It was a horrible feeling. I walked out when he was a sleep and crounched down and cried. The nurse came to me and said they would take good care of him. My ex did show up... late but he was there. He called the doctors office and told them they could not operate until he arrived. So surgery was delayed and hour. He told the doctor that he had NO knowledge of what was transpiring at all and he would not approve anything unless he was there. Now I went through all coorespondence and looked at everyone and thought maybe I was missing information that I told him. There was nothing missing he even replied to the emails comfirming the date of surgery. I gave him the names of the doctors and told him if he wanted to discuss his sons proceedure that he could call them. He never did. Anyway, its over. His penis hurts a lot. Its looks so painful, but we are now in the process of mending.

I also found out today that when my son was with my ex, he would meet various women, I think two at the McDonalds. He told me that the woman was a 30 yr old professional babysitter and he left Brandon with her so he could attend a class for his job. Now its sounds so far fetched just like the hokey excuses he gave me when we were married. I do not believe him. I do believe he did date through out our marriage, and its not much fun anymore to him because he is free to do that now. He blames me for my abuse to him through the marriage and all he wanted was a wife that loved him. I said all I wanted was a faithful honest husband. He says I was too abusive. I really don't see it. But I will tell you that when he was arrested for rape, it was like I did almost stay for his punishment. It did feel that way. I wanted him to feel me pulling free from him as he made me feel. That I guess I am guilty of. But I was pregnant and sick with Crohns Disease and that kept me there more so for that reason. I wish I could be a fly on the wall and see and hear what goes on in his head and why he thinks the way he does. And why does he feel he was faithful and honest in the marriage. I am not perfect in no way at all, and I know he isn't either. But does he actually believe that he never commited adultry at all? Does he really feel he was set up for the rape? Its all so weird. He tells me that he prays to God everynight that I have goodness in my heart and I will eventually do the right thing. I don't get it. I wish someone would tell me if in fact I am not fair or am not doing right.

Maybe one day after the divorce settlement I will go away with the kids and have a vacation of peace. My heart needs peace and happiness. Per your advice, I will wait to settle in court. I do believe I will have a better shot at succses, and I need so badly to be heard. I need his family to hear from his women what kind of person he is. My ex wants me to settle and claim his debt of loans in his name only as marrital debt. I wasn't even allowed to use these items at all. I could go on and on. Maybe I should write a book?

Jennifer

Divorcing and Scared - Sons Surgery

Thanks. I have my Ex's entire family attcking me now. They say I never told his father about whats going on. But I have several pieces of coorespondence saying otherwise. Its all so stressful. Please pray for my little boy. I love him dearly.

Divorcing and Scared - Sons Surgery

Hi Rose, My son is having surgery mainly on his penis. His circimsicion (sp) has adheased itself to the head of his penis. Also, the hole where he urinates from is too small which can cause some serious problem with bladder infections and such later. This may prevent him from potty training because of the uncontrollable force when urinating. I thought, while he was out with this surgery, why not have the moles removed so there is not two surgeries. The moles are hairy nevi's and they can potentially be cancerous later. The mole surgery is elective, I thought i should kill two birds with one surgery. I hope I am making the right descision. The adheasions are needed according to the doctors.

Do you think I am making the right choice? With my horrible experience in the hospital I have reservations. We went for a tour today so he can see what its all about. He's three, he doesn't know... I know... but I wanted to prepare him.

Jennifer

Retreat Thinking

Aloha Boardies

I am home and still on vacation for a few more days. I haven't felt this rested or relaxed in a long time. On retreat, as I posted previously, I had some wonderful meditations and awakenings.
I was reading spiritual books and taking walks. One of the books recommended a walking meditation. While walking keep a half smile on your face and with each step visualize a lotus blossom opening under your feet with each footstep. Listen in the silence. Hear the messages from your heart.
There is so much serenity available. The world and it's dramas, money, fame, greed, envy, lust, ego..all of it a low grade B movie.
Think outside the box. Hold on to your truth. Love and spirit energy is a comfortable place to sit through life. God is everywhere. Honor yourself, be graceful and dignified.Be gentle, generous, kind and honest. Before you react ask yourself "What's the loving thing to do.". Don't be ordinary, be extraordinary.

love, Rose

Divorcing and Scared - Sons Surgery

Hi Rose, Glad to hear that you are back. My 3yr old son is due to have surgery next tuesday. Its just on more hurdle to overcome. Its minor surgery, some moles and re-circumsission (sp). The doctors claim that the moles he has can potentially be cancerous later in life. So 6 moles will come off. Your experience as a nurse is general anesthesia OK for young children? They will let me into the operting room as they put a mask on him to put him out, then they will put the IV in. I am terrified for him. I have NOT had good experiences with the hospital. SO I have reservations. If you can see any problems with this please let me know. My sons initials are BZ date of birth 8-8-03. Thanks,Jennifer

Hi Rose,
on Friday morning,I saw angel in the shower. On the wall of my shower,water formed angel.
I was so happy to see it and it calmed me
Love,T

weird day

I am not a work today I woke up at 3 am with feeling of ice pick in my eye I saw the time took some tylenol pm called LT to wish his sister a safe trip lucky I did I woke themup they packed until 1 am had to be at the airport by 3:30 am for 5:20am flight they wer still alseep whenI called they got up left
the nephew's gf and mom were at the airport major drama,lt did not get to say good bye to them older nephew left his boarding pass in the car by the time lt got back to them sister and younger nephew were pass the guard station older nephew waiting for him for boarding pass
funny part was I was dreaming that he called me to say major drama at airport while I was dreaming he did call me to say that
this morning my mom's dr called they are admitting her today she needs transfusion I was so angry at her dr todaywe get to the hospital I call him to say where should we go his wife says goto admitting we go there and they had no idea why we are there since tomorrow is the surgery we tellthem the dr told us to come to admitting they call him his medical assistant says come to the office,I was steaming. We get into the office his wife apologizes over and over agian. He sent my mom to xray then tellus to go to admitting at 2 pm we get there 1:45 pm they do not have the paperwork, I call him leave nasty message about how dare they send us twice to admitting without doing the paperwork,Admitting pages him,then we get a room.
She got to eat at 6:30 tomorrow at 7:25 ams he has surgery
Love,TAW (5/17/67)
her surgery is tomorrow
Love,T

Aloha Boardies

My darling Boardies

I am having a wonderful time on retreat. It's so quiet here I can only hear my heart beating and mind thinking. I really needed this!
I have had several spiritual awakenings and my heart feels so full!
So much more to come!
It's very beautiful here but it's not Hawaii.
Looking forward to being home again.
love
Rose
I hope you all are well and happy. Follow your heart!

Unexpected Happenings !!!

Aloha, Rose ~~

I hope your retreat went well, and that you're feeling well and rested.

Since arriving in New York, I've mostly been teaching summer school and taking graduate classes, but I've also been putting my name "out there" in the theatre community, since performing has always been an interest of mine.

And guess what?!?

I'm doing backup music for a stage performance this week, last weekend I was in a local TV commercial (if it goes national, I'll let you know!), and for the next two nights I'm scheduled to be an extra in a movie being filmed in Chinatown. Another company also wants me to be in their (national) commercial, but I'm not sure I want to -- long story.

Anyhoo -- I really didn't expect to get much attention, yet here it is, and it's a blast!

None of this has been paying work, and that's OK, because it all looks good on my résumé. But here's my question -- do you see this kind of response continuing? I don't want to give up teaching (unless Hollywood calls, BIG TIME -- LOL), but I sure wouldn't mind "moonlighting" as a performer.

Any thoughts?

Peace & Love --


Kaye
(4/2/57)

Great News

Rose,
Great news LT's nephew returned home, he will go back to Samoa on Wednesday with his mom.
Thank you to all who prayed for his return
Love,T

Statement of Principle # 4

Through my consciousness of my God-Self, the Christ within as my Source, I draw into my mind and feeling nature the very substance of Spirit. This substance is my supply, thus my consciousness of the Presence of God within me is my supply.

Divorcing and Scared

Rose, Thank you. I hope your retret is relaxing for you. Hearing some of the truth is very very hard. If what happened to that woman is real, I feel bad for her. I did send her an email saying that I was sorry for had happened to her, but I never heard back. I don't imagine I will. I have to be careful with this man. He is sneaky and I don't believe there was any love from him.

I will write you when you get back. Have fun.

jennifer

Statement of Principle # 3

I am conscious of the Inner Presence as my lavish Abundance. I am conscious of the constant activity of this Mind of infinite Prosperity. Therefre, my consciousness is filled with the Light of Truth.

Divorcing and scared

Rose, I never changed, legaly, my maiden name to my married name. However I did use my married name. My Married last name initial is "Z" My Maiden name last initial is "D" My Date of Birth is January 3, 1968. My husbands initials are "SZ" middle initial "Y". His DOB is May 3, 1959. Along with what you think i should do about the judge and letting this go to court, did he really rape this woman? Her initials are "A H". I am not sure of her date of birth but she is young in her 20's. Was he as agressive with her as she reported. I would really like to know and finally have closure. If you would like my personal email address it is zamrikj@yahoo.com.

Thanks,
Jennifer

Retreat Time for Rose

Aloha my Precious Boardies, my loves

I will be going on retreat tomorrow and will return on the 10th. I am going to a very remote area to recharge and relax. Due to the remote circumstances I may not be able to blog, but we'll see.

I really need the rest as I have been working very hard for a year without a break.

My love to you, walk the path of compassion, love and Truth. Pray and meditate for innner and outer peace. Eat well and rest. And PLEASE don't give fear a minute of time. Maintain integrity and the Higher Path.

Will blog when I can.
In the meantime please feel free to talk amongst yourselves.

love
Rose

Statement of Principle # 2

I lift up my mind and heart to be aware, to understand, and to know that the Divine Presence I AM is the Source and Substance of all my good.

Divorcing and scared

Rose, Thanks for your good wishes. I have been away from this man for 6 months now. Its a good thing, I know. I guess I just do not understand, Why. Why is he this way and why doesn't this man care about the hurt he caused me? Why is he so obssesed with women and sex? I don't get it. I was there always, faithful and did everything in the home. He dated throughout the marriage. I know of only a couple, but I wonder how many there really were. Why would a man suck you in to almost marry you and keep you for his purposes. I hace tried counceling... hoever, many do not take insurance and its a money issue right now. I am trying this new venture in professional resume writing. I seem to be good at this. I wanted to go to school to become a nurse. My path is helping people. Thats what I would like to do. I don't know if its in the furture for me. I seem to run into so many road blocks. With this divorce, My soon to be ex- would obviously like me to settle by paying for most of his debt. This is concidered marrital debt. However, I wasn't even allowed to use credit cards nor was I on loans. I wonder if I should wait for court and let the judge decide. I think he may favor me more than him. WHat do you think?

Jennifer