Awakening

By definition awakening is being fully present. I have had moments like that but as soon as I think, “I am fully present” I lose the experience.
So, typing this post I will do my very best to be fully present. The first thing I have to do is shut off the radio; the sounds coming from there, although pleasant, are dividing my consciousness. I’ll be right back.

My body is very relaxed, my stomach comfortable and my attention is to the keyboard. The mantra Om Mani Padme Hum provides silent ambience like a quiet memory. Where do the words come from? Darn! The phone just rang jolting me out of my reverie.

Ok, let’s try being present again. Om mani padme hum om mani padme hum.
I question if I will know when I am being present, each question taking me out of the present and each thought leads to another as I sleepwalk around the corridors of mind.

I feel the chair supporting my weight; I feel the floor supporting my feet. I feel my fingers compressing the keys; I hear unspoken words, presenting themselves one at a time. I stop and realize my jaw is clenched, probably as a side effect of caffeine.

I am consciously aware of breathing in and hear the gentle echoes of the mantra. I think that I am typing a paper on awakening; I get silent to hear the words coming from who-knows-where.

I close my eyes now and hear my breath. I listen for the next word. I feel warm; maybe I’ll go for a swim. Om mani padme hum om mani padme hum…am I awake for those tiny moment when no thoughts arise? I hear words not ideas, I just write.

If being awake is just being then how does one acknowledge that state? If I label it it’s gone; like trying to capture the wind in fishing net.

I am awake sometimes; I feel deep compassion for the entire planet, which brings me to tears. Sometimes as I breathe I feel the world breathe. When I can acknowledge Atman I am you.

loving you ~R