A Kitty's "Tails of the Road"

From another board, a first-feline account of the cross-country trip, as posted by my floofy (but not too bright) girl, Mac:

Hi, Aunties!

We is on da road to da West Coast, and I thoughts you might likes to hear how we is doing. We lefts New York Thursday afternoon, but before we coulds leave, Meowmy had to puts all our shtuff in a truck. She can’ts lift efurrything herself, so she hads some big scary men come do dat for her. I don’t likes big scary men, so I hid under the mattress topper dat she dropped on the floor. But then she picked it up and founds me! So then I hids in a corner of the closet. I hads my eyes closed, so I thoughts she wouldn’t see me, but she did, and she picked me up and dropped me in a purrtable jail cell. My sisser Ness was already in there, so it wasn’t too bad. Elliott and Shadow gots to ride together, ‘cause dey is brudders, and Chelsea gots her own jail cell, ‘cause she is old and cranky, but poor Kira hads to ride with Gizmo. NO one likes to ride with Gizmo, ‘cause Gizmo is a tortie kitty and, well, you knows how differcult they can be.

Even though Ness was wid me, I was still a fraidy cat, and I gots so upset dat I started drooling. A LOT. Meowmy saids it musta been like Niagara Falls, ‘cause when she lets me out at the ends of the ride, I was wet all over, and so was Ness.

We hads to ride for a while dat day, but we finally gots to a motel and Meowmy lets us out of jail. We was all nerfuss, but it was nice to walks around a bit, and we had fuud and water and a litter box – and Meowmy. We all cuddled dat night, and dat was nice.

In da morning, Meowmy scooped us all up again, and plopped us back in the jail cells. Meowmy says she was lucky dat night, ‘cause she gots a platfurrm bed, and we couldn’t hides underneath. Last night, she gots a regular bed, and it tooks her a looooooooooong time to gets Gizmo out.

When Meowmy started grabbing us dis morning to puts us back in the jail cells, I decided to hide, 'cause I is TIRED of dis trip. I don't knows how she dids it, but she founds me! I hads such a good hiding place, too.

We is in a really nice furry big room tonight wid a a king size bed. It's not a platfurrm bed, so it's gonna take Meowmy a loooooooong time to catch us all in da morning. And dere's a sofa in one corner of the room, and I knows some of us is gonna hide back there, too. Meowmy might has to start trying to catch us an hour or two before it's time to leave! (tee hee hee)

Update:

I gots a question for you, Aunties -- does you thinks that tortie kitties is extra speshull smart? I think they must be, and let me tells you why.

Does you remember dat Meowmy was disappurrted dat her bed last night was a regular one, not a platfurrm one? Well, guess whats? It actually WAS a platfurrm bed after all (Meowmy is old and creaky and didn't look real close at first).

Anyway (and here's where da smart tortie part comes in), on regular days when Meowmy gets up in da morning, she cuddles with us for a while, and then gets ready to leave. Gizmo figured out dat, when we is travelling, Meowmy getting up means that WE gets stuck in jail cells. So as soon as it looks like Meowmy is waking up, Gizmo hides ('cause she don't likes those jail cells). But Meowmy wasn't worried dis morning, 'cause she saw da platfurrm bed and knew Gizmo wouldn't be able to gets underneath. She grabbed Kira from behind da couch, and grabbed me before I coulds hide under the bedspread, and she grabbed everyone else except cranky old Chelsea, 'cause she don't even try to run and hide anymore.

But then Meowmy realized dat she didn't has Gizmo.

She looked behind the couch again, but no Gizmo. She looked in the bathroom, but no Gizmo. She looked on the windowsill behind the curtains, but no Gizmo. There wasn't any room behind the desk and end tables, but she looked there anyway, and no Gizmo.

Meowmy was thinking that maybe she'd just go and leave Gizmo, but she was scared to think what would happen to the poor, nice room attendant when she stumbled across an annoyed tortie left behind in the hotel room. So Meowmy kept thinking.

She looked around the edges of the platfurrm bed, but no Gizmo, and there was no spaces in the platfurrm for Gizmo to squeeze through, so Meowmy was as confuzzled as I always gets. But then she looked at the bed again and noticed that the mattress and box springs stuck out over the edge of the platfurrm, and then Meowmy had an awful thought. She leaned over and ran her hand around the bottom edge of the box springs and then she shouted out a word dat I isn't allowed to use but that starts with da letter "F" and isn't "Floof."

Appurrently there was a hole in the bottom of one of da box springs, so Meowmy tooks off the blanket and bedspread and pulled and pulled and pulled the king-size mattress until it was off the platform. Then she lifted up the box springs and shooks it and -- yup -- Gizmo cames running out!

Meowmy had to chased after Gizmo and caughts her in the bathroom and grabbed her and puts her in the jail cell -- and Gizmo gaves Meowmy her dirtiest tortie look and tolds her what she thoughts of the whole thing. Meowmy shook her finger at Gizmo and tolds her that may she shoulds just sleeps in the jail cell for the restest of the trip !!!

Then Meowmy put the box spings back and pulled and pulled and pulled the king size mattress back in place, but she didn't puts the blanket or bedspread back on. She saids the nice room attendant was going to has to take them off to makes the bed anyway, but Meowmy WAS a little worried about what the nice lady would thinks when she saws the mussed-up bed and the blanket and bedspread on the couch. Fortunately, we lefts before the nice lady came to clean the room.

Update #2:

Uh-oh, we gots a pwoblem !!! Meowmy says it's almost times to go, and she can't finds Kira ANYwhere! I lubs Kira, so I hopes she isn't losted somewhere in dis big hotel room.
Kira! Kiiiiiirrrrrrraaaaaaaaaa!!!!! Where IS youuuuuuuuuu ?????