Hello Rose! Well the surgery went really great. The hardest part was holding my son in my arms in the OR while they put him to sleep with the gas. It was a horrible feeling. I walked out when he was a sleep and crounched down and cried. The nurse came to me and said they would take good care of him. My ex did show up... late but he was there. He called the doctors office and told them they could not operate until he arrived. So surgery was delayed and hour. He told the doctor that he had NO knowledge of what was transpiring at all and he would not approve anything unless he was there. Now I went through all coorespondence and looked at everyone and thought maybe I was missing information that I told him. There was nothing missing he even replied to the emails comfirming the date of surgery. I gave him the names of the doctors and told him if he wanted to discuss his sons proceedure that he could call them. He never did. Anyway, its over. His penis hurts a lot. Its looks so painful, but we are now in the process of mending.
I also found out today that when my son was with my ex, he would meet various women, I think two at the McDonalds. He told me that the woman was a 30 yr old professional babysitter and he left Brandon with her so he could attend a class for his job. Now its sounds so far fetched just like the hokey excuses he gave me when we were married. I do not believe him. I do believe he did date through out our marriage, and its not much fun anymore to him because he is free to do that now. He blames me for my abuse to him through the marriage and all he wanted was a wife that loved him. I said all I wanted was a faithful honest husband. He says I was too abusive. I really don't see it. But I will tell you that when he was arrested for rape, it was like I did almost stay for his punishment. It did feel that way. I wanted him to feel me pulling free from him as he made me feel. That I guess I am guilty of. But I was pregnant and sick with Crohns Disease and that kept me there more so for that reason. I wish I could be a fly on the wall and see and hear what goes on in his head and why he thinks the way he does. And why does he feel he was faithful and honest in the marriage. I am not perfect in no way at all, and I know he isn't either. But does he actually believe that he never commited adultry at all? Does he really feel he was set up for the rape? Its all so weird. He tells me that he prays to God everynight that I have goodness in my heart and I will eventually do the right thing. I don't get it. I wish someone would tell me if in fact I am not fair or am not doing right.
Maybe one day after the divorce settlement I will go away with the kids and have a vacation of peace. My heart needs peace and happiness. Per your advice, I will wait to settle in court. I do believe I will have a better shot at succses, and I need so badly to be heard. I need his family to hear from his women what kind of person he is. My ex wants me to settle and claim his debt of loans in his name only as marrital debt. I wasn't even allowed to use these items at all. I could go on and on. Maybe I should write a book?
Jennifer
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