Am i just doomed to mess things up and let my anger get the best of me? Lord it was going soooo good, and i messed up.
Just knowing he bad mouthing me and lying just triggered me off, and i can't do nothing it's too far gone.
No, i'm not depressed, just sad that i was soooo close to having what i wanted and only I messed it up.
5 comments:
Relax, God's Hand is in EVERYTHING. Everything's gonna be alright. Please relax and let God do it.
I love you
Hang in there.
Be patient
~R
I shall. He called me last nite, asked how Justin was and what i was doing, i told him, he said he was gonna call me back, he was watching tv, he never did.
I lost my ground for a moment ... where I was headed, u know? I just hate people using my name for their own purposes especially when they saying things that aren't true at all.
He called me a whore Rose ... does he have a clue what that is?
I think i need my space for a lil while, cause for him to go THAT deep. I know he was mad and I was wrong for what i did, but making ppl think i'm a slut and a whore and I crazy, he went real real real deep.
I'm sure Linc dad just stood there and let him say stuff about me too, so for the moment, space from all of them is a good idea for me. I'm gonna try no calls, no going over there for anything. I'm sorry not even Justin, harsh i know, but it's how i feel right now.
What's so sickening, I know they not gonna last no matter what but when she get preggo she will be a fixture that i just don't wanna deal with.
He called me again last nite asked me what me and justin was doing, told me to make a list of what i usually buy for justin to eat, so he can go and buy them at the store on Friday/Sat.
Boy it killing me, but i feel i need to get some space between us right now. Since he loves Raquel like he says he does then so be it, he said let him hit rock bottom, let him see he's made a mistake or not, so be it.
But Rose, NO ONE, calls me a whore, I'm not one, never was. I may be a fool for sleeping with only one man for 15 years but a whore I am not!!! I never cheated on him, i had lots of opportunities, but nnever had an urge to.
Justin Godmum told me i can rent the spare room by her if i wanted to, since it's me she's sure her grandmum would give me a good deal on a rate. :-)
As tempting as that sounds, i dunno, the funds, no trans like that ... she lives on the other side of the island u can say :-) she said she'll take me to work lol sounds good but, nah. lol
Lecia darling
Don't give him this power. Words are weapons only when you let them be. Let the dogs back and keep centered and spiritual.
love
~R
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