Hi Rose,
My son MCH 6/25/92 has remained distant from me and its getting worse. He has been in some trouble with the law and is on probation. He has a I dont care attitude. All I want to do is love him him and help him but he runs.
There is a long story here....when I married Brandons father and he was fired from his job because of the rape, he had to move and I was waiting for another operation to get well enough to lave him. We had to move about an hour and twenty minutes away. Instead of uprooting my older son, I asked his father if he could stay with him so he wouldnt have to switch school and possible switch two more schools when I moved back.
I came back and as he got older I saw him less and less. Its not without the lack of trying.
What is going on with him and why doesnt he want to see his mother and brother?
Jennifer
5 comments:
Hi Jennifer
I am terribly sorry this situation exists in your life. I am sorry but
all you can do for MCH is pray for him. You and your other son are better off this way.Right now he is incorrigible.
Detach with love. Love him from a distance. Please don't force yourself on him, no matter how loving you want to be...do it from afar. He will leave home. Less of him around you in bettr for the peace of your home and the welfare of the younger boy.
I will pray for him too.
Rose
Thank you. Thats kinda what my gut told me to do. I send him a text every day or thereabouts, and I tell him I love him and that I miss him. I often wonder if he appreciates that or cares. He is my first baby and I hate the way things are. He and his father are no better. I believe he is planning on leaving, and Florida is where he has his mind set. He says he will go to school there but I think he is lying to us and himself. I think he is into drugs and is just bad. Its terrible, but he is such a bright kid and could have been a brilliant student and he threw it all away. I blame myself. I should have stayed but I was unempled and sick. I thought by letting him stay with his dad would be OK...but I just keep seeing his face the day I dropped him off. He always told me he was OK and he never hated me for going...but I feel like he holds that bitterness but I am not sure. He says he doesnt... I tried to do what was best and I knew the person I was married too was not a good environment for him...and I needed a plan to leave that man. It eats at me every day...how could he not care for us? I wonder how his life will turn out. I miss my boy. : (
My sister says I shouldnt give up and just make him talk to me...My gut has told me No. That he will come around. Whats sad is that I have to go through his friends Facebook pages just to see pictures of him and to see if he writes any of them ...just to see if he is still out there. I found a picture of him smiling...drunk with his friends, but he was happy. Sad really...thats the only happy picture I have of him as a teen. I want my boy back. Please God.
Aloha Jennifer,
May I recommend that you texting him everyday...Focus on yourself and your younger son. Your "gut" is correct.
He is an adult and he is solely responsible for the choices he is making. You are not to blame.
You need to forgive yourself, the guilt is eating you up alive. Please consider seeing a "talk" doctor, a psychologist. You need to heal.
Please know that MCH has his own Higher Power and his karma to live out. There is still hope for him. He will find his way eventually.
Hang tough,
Love...Rose
Thanks...easier said though. I text him because it’s safe and I want him to know I am thinking of him. I won’t do it as much...promise. I dont want him to be able to say" Well Mom never calls me"... I have gone to a "Talk" doctor years ago and he was great...but he isn’t on my insurance plan now. I will consider it again...I always believe I can fix myself. Don’t you know I wear the Big Red "S" on my chest...for Super Woman! LOL
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