I considered writing this post in invisible ink to illustrate impermanence. I discarded that thought and it was instantly replaced by another thought, which I cannot remember. Now where was I? Who am I? What am I doing?
The Rose I was 5 minutes ago no longer exists. She was the one who thought that writing this post was impossible right now, she was exhausted. The Rose that is here, oops she’s gone, darn! This is like trying to hug a greased pig while attempting to apply its lipstick.
Impermanence may be the only reality, a slippery sucker that sinks like quicksand and transverses the surface like one of those people moving sidewalks. It also constantly appears like a huge comedic powder puff that binks the tip of my nose, slides through my invisible head only to reappear on what appears to be the other side.
A sugar cube dissolving on my tongue, a pat of butter melting and evaporating in a Teflon coated pan, the changing forms of clouds and bodies, I am sitting here then sitting there then standing still then walking then lying down. Ah, lying down! That exhausted Rose missing a train of thought that never left the station in the first place.
The ego existing bumping into love bouncing out of love, anger metamorphosizing into compassion, then into forgiveness. Feeling good, feeling bad, what am I feeling?
How can I grab what doesn’t exist?
Gingerly surviving delicate softness the form is baked only to be blown up in the kiln. Rising soufflés caving in a cloud of steam, road rash on a shiny brand new bumper. A new baby girl in a stroller is being pushed toward a hundred year old woman in a wheelchair.
I know what I’m doing, I don’t know what I’m doing, I know exactly when, but can’t keep track of time. Time is a construct and time is a deadline. The deadline is the flat line and it’s all a dream anyway. Who wrote this movie and who directs it? The actors are running amok losing touch with reality as they fulfill a multitude of roles.
The concepts stated in this post no longer exist.
#
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Life, love, and the pursuit of Self...
Aloha Rose,
Wow, it has been an extremely interesting two months for me and I've felt like I've been away from here on a long journey. Finally ready to settle back into some of my own enjoyable and necessary pursuits.
School is ready and waiting for me. All I need to do is to take the placement tests and register. I'll be at LCC. I'm thinking for the first semester that I will retake the Women's Studies class to get myself back into the swing of things. I'm going to contact the professor to make sure that would be okay with her. I'm ready to study and work hard. Do you feel that I should continue with the Women's Studies and anthropology? I've also been thinking of Fine Arts.
And as I've already mentioned, I've met a man(FLD 10/21/68)! It's been six long years after the Pete thing and I never thought it would happen. But he is here and extremely open and kind and intelligent. We're both open to each other. The love is there along with the willingness to be kind to each other's insecurities. I feel as if I've met my cosmic twin!
Of course, we both realize that we are human with weaknesses and know that we never know what will happen in the future. But we are trying to stay in the moment when with each other and know that we both have scars and baggage that show every now and then. It's nice that we are able to communicate what we need to each other without fear. I'm amazed that a romantic relationship can be this way! :)
I hope you are doing well and survived mid-terms! And that you had a nice weekend away...
Much love and light-
Kat (4/8/62)
Wow, it has been an extremely interesting two months for me and I've felt like I've been away from here on a long journey. Finally ready to settle back into some of my own enjoyable and necessary pursuits.
School is ready and waiting for me. All I need to do is to take the placement tests and register. I'll be at LCC. I'm thinking for the first semester that I will retake the Women's Studies class to get myself back into the swing of things. I'm going to contact the professor to make sure that would be okay with her. I'm ready to study and work hard. Do you feel that I should continue with the Women's Studies and anthropology? I've also been thinking of Fine Arts.
And as I've already mentioned, I've met a man(FLD 10/21/68)! It's been six long years after the Pete thing and I never thought it would happen. But he is here and extremely open and kind and intelligent. We're both open to each other. The love is there along with the willingness to be kind to each other's insecurities. I feel as if I've met my cosmic twin!
Of course, we both realize that we are human with weaknesses and know that we never know what will happen in the future. But we are trying to stay in the moment when with each other and know that we both have scars and baggage that show every now and then. It's nice that we are able to communicate what we need to each other without fear. I'm amazed that a romantic relationship can be this way! :)
I hope you are doing well and survived mid-terms! And that you had a nice weekend away...
Much love and light-
Kat (4/8/62)
New Begginings
Hi Rose,
It appears as though I somewhat hit the nail on the head with this young mans stomach issue. Its an intestinal parasite call cryptosporidium. Honestly, I have no idea why this young guy gets so many weird things. I places a call to the Chairman of the Board of Pediatrics and Pediatric Infectious Disease at Children's Hospital. He is on the right track and will help him. With me... I never give up. Especially when its medical. I will tell you I am not as CRAZY about medical issues as I was last year! HA HA I think I am like this because of my own disease and I have to learn to not be a worry wart. Let me know if you still need my email and how to get that to you.
Update on the weird Ex. The funniest thing happened to me. I was in bed and started thinking of my marriage with him. I started to get sad because of the promises we made to each other and how he violated that trust. The next day I get an email from him saying that he apologizes for things that he has done to me and things that I perceive that he has done...blah blah blah It's very disturbing but I thought he almost heard me thinking and then sent me this email. Bizarre, I know. Then again, I read the email and think he has a hidden agenda and he is just evil. Maybe he is being humble because I won my motion and he knows that he sorta messed up on the stand in court. What do you make of this? SYX 5-3-59.
Jennifer
It appears as though I somewhat hit the nail on the head with this young mans stomach issue. Its an intestinal parasite call cryptosporidium. Honestly, I have no idea why this young guy gets so many weird things. I places a call to the Chairman of the Board of Pediatrics and Pediatric Infectious Disease at Children's Hospital. He is on the right track and will help him. With me... I never give up. Especially when its medical. I will tell you I am not as CRAZY about medical issues as I was last year! HA HA I think I am like this because of my own disease and I have to learn to not be a worry wart. Let me know if you still need my email and how to get that to you.
Update on the weird Ex. The funniest thing happened to me. I was in bed and started thinking of my marriage with him. I started to get sad because of the promises we made to each other and how he violated that trust. The next day I get an email from him saying that he apologizes for things that he has done to me and things that I perceive that he has done...blah blah blah It's very disturbing but I thought he almost heard me thinking and then sent me this email. Bizarre, I know. Then again, I read the email and think he has a hidden agenda and he is just evil. Maybe he is being humble because I won my motion and he knows that he sorta messed up on the stand in court. What do you make of this? SYX 5-3-59.
Jennifer
Friday, October 17, 2008
the Self
Aloha my Boardies ...
Some may say that Self is who they are, as in their name, their status and their life roles. Some identify Self as their body and their relationship to the world around them. I challenge these ideas as I challenge the concept that the world is solid. Quantum physicists have scientifically proven that materiality is energy and molecules moving at different speeds, co-created by our intention and mutual consent. I say, still your mind, vanquish your ego and then show me what you are calling your Self.
That which is untouched by ego and the senses is what I name Self. That part of my being, which is pure, flawless and beyond language, that I call Self.
My Self is not matter and has neither substance nor form, it is a state of beingness, constantly changing yet unmovable. Self is indescribable yet contains all description. It is That which is empty and contains everything.
Beyond senses, neither taking in nor giving out, is what is called the Self. Self is alone and in everything, is eternal but doesn’t exist. Invisible and non-worldly Self inhabits every illusion of the material world.
The Self has no beginning and no end; in complete silence it contains all sound. Self is motionless yet animates all that moves. Neither the movie nor the screen, Self is that which moves the images projected.
Self is a state of pure awareness, which is possibly wrapped in form, and then carried through lives from womb to tomb. The Self remains while forms discorporate, is non-material Reality and is identified as separate from the body.
Self is a quantum field with a name, a conglomerate of energy and light, which is endless, existing and ceasing to exist simultaneously. The Self cannot be compartmentalized; it is too great to fit into any descriptive box.
I’ve heard that seeing one’s Self, becoming Self-Realized, is so perfectly simple it’s beyond words. To know the illumined state of samadhi one must experience it; just internally turn around and look. I beg to recognize my Self while still embodied; now that would be a movie I’d see more than once.
Love, Rose
Some may say that Self is who they are, as in their name, their status and their life roles. Some identify Self as their body and their relationship to the world around them. I challenge these ideas as I challenge the concept that the world is solid. Quantum physicists have scientifically proven that materiality is energy and molecules moving at different speeds, co-created by our intention and mutual consent. I say, still your mind, vanquish your ego and then show me what you are calling your Self.
That which is untouched by ego and the senses is what I name Self. That part of my being, which is pure, flawless and beyond language, that I call Self.
My Self is not matter and has neither substance nor form, it is a state of beingness, constantly changing yet unmovable. Self is indescribable yet contains all description. It is That which is empty and contains everything.
Beyond senses, neither taking in nor giving out, is what is called the Self. Self is alone and in everything, is eternal but doesn’t exist. Invisible and non-worldly Self inhabits every illusion of the material world.
The Self has no beginning and no end; in complete silence it contains all sound. Self is motionless yet animates all that moves. Neither the movie nor the screen, Self is that which moves the images projected.
Self is a state of pure awareness, which is possibly wrapped in form, and then carried through lives from womb to tomb. The Self remains while forms discorporate, is non-material Reality and is identified as separate from the body.
Self is a quantum field with a name, a conglomerate of energy and light, which is endless, existing and ceasing to exist simultaneously. The Self cannot be compartmentalized; it is too great to fit into any descriptive box.
I’ve heard that seeing one’s Self, becoming Self-Realized, is so perfectly simple it’s beyond words. To know the illumined state of samadhi one must experience it; just internally turn around and look. I beg to recognize my Self while still embodied; now that would be a movie I’d see more than once.
Love, Rose
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Group Meditation and Affirmation
Hiya Cutesies
The Group Meditation is being held on Saturday November 1st at 5PM Hawaii time. That makes it 8PM Pacific and 10PM Eastern.
This is a 10 minute meditation so if you have to work please take your break at that time. We can all afford to devote 10 minutes to lift each other up.
Now, let's come up with something to silently affirm. May I suggest thinking "I bless myself with loving kindness." Since we are all each other this blesses all of us.
Help me out here Goddesses. loving you a LOT, ~R
The Group Meditation is being held on Saturday November 1st at 5PM Hawaii time. That makes it 8PM Pacific and 10PM Eastern.
This is a 10 minute meditation so if you have to work please take your break at that time. We can all afford to devote 10 minutes to lift each other up.
Now, let's come up with something to silently affirm. May I suggest thinking "I bless myself with loving kindness." Since we are all each other this blesses all of us.
Help me out here Goddesses. loving you a LOT, ~R
Suffering - A Buddhist Perspective
Suffering
Attachment moves like a river that wavers from its middle clinging to stones
swelling pools, which cause the riverbed to crumble.
Being imprisoned in a body and enslaved by thought the seeker presses inward,
asleep unawakened missing the now by the slimmest moment.
Craving sensations absorbing stimulus like a sponge appears to fill the void,
Hollow-eyed wanderer haunted by ghosts of non-existent past and endless future.
Divorcing someone you love, walking away carrying a bucket of broken promises.
Watching a loved one suffer attached to form praying for formlessness,
Lost children interrupted slipping away in a vacuum.
Who’s to blame for raping the virgin, the maiden, the crone allowing them to live?
Despair and joy of letting go has two faces in the mirror,
Starting over imagining something has ended and one must begin anew.
Believing fear seeing a snake in a rope solidifying the discorporate with a concept.
Painful body, heart, mind and spirit begging detachment,
Afraid to die afraid to live attached to the internal solace.
Losing anything not being or having enough, delusions, illusions of grandeur,
Prideful gaining winning succeeding swelling ego thinking I am the Doer.
The sleepwalker suffers off the blindfold so slowly! At what mercy?
Rose Kopp
September 21, 2008
Attachment moves like a river that wavers from its middle clinging to stones
swelling pools, which cause the riverbed to crumble.
Being imprisoned in a body and enslaved by thought the seeker presses inward,
asleep unawakened missing the now by the slimmest moment.
Craving sensations absorbing stimulus like a sponge appears to fill the void,
Hollow-eyed wanderer haunted by ghosts of non-existent past and endless future.
Divorcing someone you love, walking away carrying a bucket of broken promises.
Watching a loved one suffer attached to form praying for formlessness,
Lost children interrupted slipping away in a vacuum.
Who’s to blame for raping the virgin, the maiden, the crone allowing them to live?
Despair and joy of letting go has two faces in the mirror,
Starting over imagining something has ended and one must begin anew.
Believing fear seeing a snake in a rope solidifying the discorporate with a concept.
Painful body, heart, mind and spirit begging detachment,
Afraid to die afraid to live attached to the internal solace.
Losing anything not being or having enough, delusions, illusions of grandeur,
Prideful gaining winning succeeding swelling ego thinking I am the Doer.
The sleepwalker suffers off the blindfold so slowly! At what mercy?
Rose Kopp
September 21, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Mate
Aloha Rose,
I pray that you had a wonderful and relaxing weekend. I just wanted to know if LY 8-24-66 is the one for me. My children absolutely adore him as do I but we've been friends for so long that I'm not certain how I feel on a relationship level. I know you said my future mate would take me by surprise. If not him, how soon do you see me meeting him.
Namaste,
Mobet (dlc 4-22-66)
I pray that you had a wonderful and relaxing weekend. I just wanted to know if LY 8-24-66 is the one for me. My children absolutely adore him as do I but we've been friends for so long that I'm not certain how I feel on a relationship level. I know you said my future mate would take me by surprise. If not him, how soon do you see me meeting him.
Namaste,
Mobet (dlc 4-22-66)
Monday, October 13, 2008
New Beginnings
Aloha Rose,
I have a question and need some guidance. The man that I am with has a 16yr old son. His son is a normal 16yr old kid and has been experiencing some strange medical issues. One of which he got the stomach flu and the antibodies started attacking his blood platelets and brought them to a dangerous level. We saw a hematologist and now that's under control. He was hospitalized for that. Now he was back in the hospital for a week. Abdominal pain (severe) , loose bowels, nausea, dizziness and swollen abdominal lymph nodes. They have tested for many things including appendicitis. Nothing. The steroids for the blood platelets are masking a lot of the blood tests however. His initials are CJH 9-13-92. What have we missed with helping him find out what is wrong with him?
Many thanks!
Jen
I have a question and need some guidance. The man that I am with has a 16yr old son. His son is a normal 16yr old kid and has been experiencing some strange medical issues. One of which he got the stomach flu and the antibodies started attacking his blood platelets and brought them to a dangerous level. We saw a hematologist and now that's under control. He was hospitalized for that. Now he was back in the hospital for a week. Abdominal pain (severe) , loose bowels, nausea, dizziness and swollen abdominal lymph nodes. They have tested for many things including appendicitis. Nothing. The steroids for the blood platelets are masking a lot of the blood tests however. His initials are CJH 9-13-92. What have we missed with helping him find out what is wrong with him?
Many thanks!
Jen
Friday, October 10, 2008
Rose - Weekend Break
Hi guys,
Rose said to let her loving boardies know she's gone away for the weekend and she'll back on Sunday. :-)
Peace!
Monday, October 06, 2008
Sunday, October 05, 2008
New Begginings
Hello Rose,
Yes, my attorney knows about the emails. Lot O' Prayers for tomorrow! I will be!
I will write you tomorrow.
Jen
Yes, my attorney knows about the emails. Lot O' Prayers for tomorrow! I will be!
I will write you tomorrow.
Jen
Group Meditation and Affirmation
Hiya Gorgeous Bubbles of Infinite Stream of Moments
The day will be on a Saturday. Now that I know who is in what times zone I need to know when the clocks are pushed back an hour for daylight savings time. Anyone know?
Also, Kaye had a great suggestion that during our group meditation we affirm something in Unity. Let's have some suggestions for what we can affirm as a group.
We're actually getting there!
love
~R
The day will be on a Saturday. Now that I know who is in what times zone I need to know when the clocks are pushed back an hour for daylight savings time. Anyone know?
Also, Kaye had a great suggestion that during our group meditation we affirm something in Unity. Let's have some suggestions for what we can affirm as a group.
We're actually getting there!
love
~R
Unlimited Love
“There is no limit, because God is love and love is God. And so you are really in love with God, and God's love is infinite. And that's why it's not how much you do, but how much love you put into the action.”
~Mother Teresa of Calcutta Quote is taken from: The Joy In Loving
Affirmation: I invite Love to flow through me.
Meditation
Dear God,
May my life be a conduit for Your love. Replace my fears with faith and my judgments with compassion. Illumine my being with Your light that I might be a radiant witness for Love. Your work is my work. Help me to be awake and aware of the opportunity for living in each moment. And so it is. Amen
~Mother Teresa of Calcutta Quote is taken from: The Joy In Loving
Affirmation: I invite Love to flow through me.
Meditation
Dear God,
May my life be a conduit for Your love. Replace my fears with faith and my judgments with compassion. Illumine my being with Your light that I might be a radiant witness for Love. Your work is my work. Help me to be awake and aware of the opportunity for living in each moment. And so it is. Amen
The Light
"I am Light itself, reflected in the heart of everyone; I am the treasure of the Divine Name, the shining Essence of all things. I am every light that shines, Every ray that illumines the world. From the highest heavens to the bedrock of the earth All is but a shadow of my splendor."
~Fakhruddin Araqi (1213-1289, Sufi Mystic & Poet) quote is taken from: Two Suns Rising
Affirmation: I am a child of Light
~Fakhruddin Araqi (1213-1289, Sufi Mystic & Poet) quote is taken from: Two Suns Rising
Affirmation: I am a child of Light
Stand Up For Yourself
"When you know that (the Highest Consciousness) is within you, you can stand up for that sacred inner identity without violating the rights of others.
Open and honest communication, expressed with confidence and self-control, comes from a basic sense of your own self-worth, and shows others that you respect them and yourself."
~Greg Barrette
Affirmation ; I embrace my integrity of being.
Open and honest communication, expressed with confidence and self-control, comes from a basic sense of your own self-worth, and shows others that you respect them and yourself."
~Greg Barrette
Affirmation ; I embrace my integrity of being.
Friday, October 03, 2008
Soon-To-Be Ex Visit
Aloha Rose,
I pray all is well. LC 9-16-61 is planning on finally visiting w/our children on Saturday, 4 Oct. I know this will be a pleasant visit for the children; however, what is he up to? Is he genuinely wanting to visit the children or is he going to get them to sign something stating they want to live with him. I just surprised him w/a house visit to take inventory of what was in the house. He was truly shocked as was his fiancee. I have truly changed because I had more confidence than I have ever had in my life to stand up to him and I was so proud of myself. God is awesome and I have truly changed for the better because I was awesome in the way I handled myself. I was loosened from my infirmity. Every time he has attempted to do something mean, God cuts off that supply of negativity. I'm so truly blessed! I also thank you and the boardies for prayers and comfort for it was prayer that changed it all!
Mahalo and Namaste,
Mobet
I pray all is well. LC 9-16-61 is planning on finally visiting w/our children on Saturday, 4 Oct. I know this will be a pleasant visit for the children; however, what is he up to? Is he genuinely wanting to visit the children or is he going to get them to sign something stating they want to live with him. I just surprised him w/a house visit to take inventory of what was in the house. He was truly shocked as was his fiancee. I have truly changed because I had more confidence than I have ever had in my life to stand up to him and I was so proud of myself. God is awesome and I have truly changed for the better because I was awesome in the way I handled myself. I was loosened from my infirmity. Every time he has attempted to do something mean, God cuts off that supply of negativity. I'm so truly blessed! I also thank you and the boardies for prayers and comfort for it was prayer that changed it all!
Mahalo and Namaste,
Mobet
New Begginings- Good Wishes Please!
Greetings! Its been a great week! I am hoping Monday will be a great day too. Rose, Please say an extra prayer for me that this crazy court date is transferred to my county!
One good thing maybe you could get a gander at... I met with my sons father and offered him some extra time with our son. He seemed to think it was a great idea when he was talking to me but after a couple days, he writes me back and is asking for more. There isn't anymore to give him. I have done a lot and I am being fair. Even though I don't want to be. He told me in this last email if I agree with him he will call off this entire case November 3rd he has scheduled for Sole Custody. Are his motives sincere? 5-3-59 SYZ
Jennifer
One good thing maybe you could get a gander at... I met with my sons father and offered him some extra time with our son. He seemed to think it was a great idea when he was talking to me but after a couple days, he writes me back and is asking for more. There isn't anymore to give him. I have done a lot and I am being fair. Even though I don't want to be. He told me in this last email if I agree with him he will call off this entire case November 3rd he has scheduled for Sole Custody. Are his motives sincere? 5-3-59 SYZ
Jennifer
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